I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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