Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
