it wasn't lemon gatorade
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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