he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
