we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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