did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She bit a glass in half.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
