Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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