after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize