You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
