Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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