Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
one might say we're banned from that church
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
