ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
