His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
