The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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