it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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