i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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