Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
