My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
