I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
