Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
