watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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