Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
