The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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