Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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