why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Girls should come with a carfax report
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
