what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Randomize
