so explain again why im purple
no
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
