i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
