I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize