4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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