Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
