i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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