She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
MIDGETS
????
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
