i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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