ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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