Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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