I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
