One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
