Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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