Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
