dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
