so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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