the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I need water and some morals
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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