I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need water and some morals
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