Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
