Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
