Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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