Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
