remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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