I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
