glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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