I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You smell like stripper and shame
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
