I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
