chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
