I smell stomach acid.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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