How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
