addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
