If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
