This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
