i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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